See me
by AngelTrisha9
Summary: After the events of 'The Whole Truth', GIllian decides that she's rather sick of Cal looking at everyone but her so she makes him see. Rated M for obvious reasons.


Hiya! Ok, so this is my first Lie To Me fic and I haven't been watching it for a long time, though I'm up to date. I mention that because I'm not entirely comfortable with Cal and Gillian yet and this is probably terrifyingly OOC, so please forgive me! Oh, that and I don't really write smut usually, so I'm not too sure where this came from. Not really selling myself, am I? :D I still hope you'll enjoy this.

Spoiler alert: everything up to the whole thruth I guess.

* * *

The good girl. His best friend. His darling. His luv. His Leo. That caught in her throat, because for years she had wanted to be more, something else. And since she had signed her divorce papers, she had the chance. She was there, available and most willing. But he wasn't. All he saw was the person he trusted the most with everything but what she wanted, so he looked her over all the time. She was nothing, invisible, the wallflower she'd always been, despite her best efforts.

Instead of coming to her, as she'd hinted, he went back to Zoe, looked at Clara as if she was the most exotic thing he'd ever seen, then there was Poppy the poker player. The alliteration was spited out every time she thought about the blond, the disgust evident in every muscles needed. What did they have that she didn't? What made him want them and not her? Was it because they were bad girls, not easy to read? Was it because they never stayed? Because he had to chase them? Because they didn't pick up the pieces like she did when they left? Because she stayed?

As Gillian twirled in her office chair, the thoughts kept swirling around her head, making her mad. No, not mad, even madder. She had been pissed at him since he decided that the best way to confront the son was to make him jealous, by playing tonsil tennis with Clara. Him, not Loker. He was the one who had to share spit with Clara. And that made her angry. Had for the past three day, especially when she'd seen him the next morning. He'd had Zoe written all over his body, in some spots literally. She saw those and her fist bunched up, which he saw and he ignored, as usual. But she was sick of it, of him ignoring. He'd done it since he put that line in place years ago.

Well, no more. She was in love with him, no matter how hard she was trying to distance herself from it, from him. It wasn't getting her anywhere. She was trying to keep herself from ending up alone and bitter, kind of like him, actually, and all it did was break her heart and made her regret not to be braver, bolder and go after him, bringing her back to the bitter an alone anyway. Maybe it was time. She stopped the chair twirling and stood. Maybe she was still a good girl, and maybe she would always be his Leo, but damned if she wasn't gonna have what she wanted.

Gillian walked out of her office and headed toward his. She leaned against the door frame to look at him. He was sitting at the desk, only the lamp illuminating the office, leaving most of his face in shadows. Cal was looking at his computer screen, his glasses, reflecting the video of their current case, hiding his eyes from her. He looked tired; it was in the slouch of his shoulder, the way he was lounging in his chair. She moved in his space, her heels loud against the silence of the empty building. Cal didn't even look up as he greeted her.

"Heeeeey, Foster."

The routine greeting was done by rote as he kept his focus on the screen. Not worth looking up for, was she? Gillian pursed her lips, her anger making her hands tingle. She raised her arm and found the tiny tab of the zipper between her fingers and she brought it down, just slow enough that he would hear the deliberation, but fast enough so she would be able to let her dress fall as he turned around. It happened as planned. She stepped out of the red pool, standing in front of him in deep purple underwear and black heels. She stood there long enough from him look her over even in his surprise. She smirked, projecting more confidence than she felt. He was speechless, clearly not knowing where this was going.

"Do you see me now, Cal?"

"I always see you."

"Do you?"

She stepped forward and put a knee on his chair, next to his thigh, giving him a clear view of her cleavage. She sat, straddling his lap, staring in his eyes as he pretended not to see her nakedness, her offering. She hated that he kept his eyes on her face. She wanted him to look down, to want her as she wanted him. Gillian took his face between her hands and pressed her lips on his, softly, but not from doubt, just to tease, to make him reach for it. Instead, he pushed her shoulders, looking in her eyes. He was doing the scientist thing, the reading thing, as if she was just a puzzle and not a woman practically naked on his lap.

His reading annoyed her, but at least he was looking. For the first time in forever, he was seeing her, not his luv, his darling or his Leo. Her. She saw it in his face and felt it in his body. It was tensing in every way it could and she felt it. She smiled at him, satisfied to feel him respond to her close proximity, to her. What fuelled her anger was the guilt on his face and his effort to push her off. She pressed her hips closer to him and tightened the grip she had on his face.

"No. Look at me, Cal. Me."  
"I can't."

She leaned back, putting her hands on his knees, giving him a perfect view. Her eyes narrowed when he kept his on her face, her anger flaring and turning into hurt.

"What's wrong with me, Cal? Am I that ugly to you?"

She heard the tears in her voice and it would have renewed her anger to see her pride so hurt if the pain hadn't ripped through her heart. She tried to push herself off, to run and hide, but Cal kept her from getting up and he lifted her chin.

"You're beautiful, and that's why I can't, luv. Cause if I start looking, I'll see nothing else."

She looked up sharply and saw fear and sincerity on his face. She reached behind her back and undid the clasp of her bra, taking it off and letting it fall to the floor.

"Maybe that's what I want."

Cal swallowed hard and Gillian gave him that coy smile. He couldn't help looking at her this time. She could almost feel his eyes on her skin, a caress in itself as he took his time to absorb every detail. His eyes darkened in just the right way and she shivered, but he bit his lip.

"It wouldn't be fair to you."  
"And watching you go to everyone but me is?"

The point of sadness and pain was clear in her voice and he brought his hand to rest over her heart. It was warm, soft and she thrilled at feeling it on her bare skin.

"They're not like you, you deserve better, luv."  
"Better than getting what I want?"  
"You don't want that."

And there laid his problem, if his face was anything to go by. She wasn't the 'love me and leave me' type. It would hurt her if he did that to her and he knew it. His head did, but the way he was just brushing his fingertips on her skin, from solar plexus to navel, then down her sides and up to the outside curve of her breast, revealed more than just the conflict on his face. It was pure tenderness, but it was also unconscious, as if he couldn't keep himself from touching her now that she was in front of him. She sighed when his hands cupped her breasts, even if it was light, not even holding their weight, simply warming her skin. He passed his thumbs over her nipples, ghost of a touch and they tightened for him, leaving him in no doubt that he was doing something right, even if wasn't enough.

He let the twin globes go and his thumb trailed on her skin to go up and trace her collarbones. He then followed a path to her neck and linked his fingers behind it, gently applying pressure, an affectionate squeeze as he looked back at her. She knew he could see the desire in her eyes, on her face, in her body and it made him swallow hard. She gave him her best-pleased smirk.

"I want this. Is this what you do to them?"

The question seemed to puzzle him and he thought hard for a moment, his hands going down her back, fingers on her spine, feeling every vertebrae through the soft skin. He turned his hands when he reached the small of her back, lowering them to cup her cheeks, gently. He rubbed his ring fingers along the lines of her panties and he pulled at her. She landed fully on him and she hummed low in her throat, in pleasure.

"No."

He leaned forward and nuzzled the skin where shoulder became neck and kissed the slightly protruding bone. He tasted her skin, and closed his mouth on the flesh, sucking hard enough to mark, to claim. She let him do it, tossing her head back, and rubbing herself against the bulge in his pants. The friction sent a sizzle of pleasure up her nerves and she moaned a little, enough for him to feel the vibration under his lip and smile. He chased the feeling with his mouth, trying to bring it back and capture it and she gave it to him. He kissed his way up the slender column of her throat and gently nipped at her chin, his fingers tracing up her back and the palms down, making her arch her back into his chest, her breasts pressing against his shirt. She lowered her head and looked at him, their lips almost touching.

"What then?"

She brought her lips to him and they kissed softly at first and then more fiercely, his tongue rubbing against hers, tasting her fully, in a way he'd trained himself not to think about. He felt her arms go around his neck and he groaned at her flavour and he kissed her like he wanted everything she had to offer. He robbed her of breath and she had to break the kiss to pant, keeping her lips touching his, sharing the same air. Cal pulled back an inch and he brought his hand up, running his finger through her hair, putting them away from her face.

"I don't remember, luv. It don't matter none once I'm done."

Gillian lowered her hands to the front of his shirt and undid the first button. She kissed the flesh she exposed and proceeded to undo the rest slowly, breathing in his scent, nipping at his skin.

"Will you remember this?"

The words were whispered across his skin and she felt a shiver run through him.

"Yeah."

The word was rough and she liked it, liked the way his breath broke it, the way he trembled when she pulled his shirt from his pants. It made her feel powerful, beautiful, wanted. She leaned back to give herself some room to remove his shirt before inching forward and pressing their naked skin together. The first touch was hot and it made him hiss. Gillian smiled and looked him in the eyes.

"Does it matter?"

She saw the answer on her face before his mouth crashed on hers hot, urgent, devouring. She moaned in the kiss, and she felt his hand roam on her back, her side, her belly and finally her breasts. He took them in his hands fully, no longer shy or reluctant. He broke the kiss to sample the coral peaks, first with his lips, then with his teeth. Not to hurt, but enough to send the feeling straight to her core. He went from one to the other, his lips never leaving her skin while soft moans tore from Gillian's throat and it took her a moment to notice that Cal was tracing an up and down path on her inner thighs. She had no room to give him more access, but she pushed her hips forward.

He got the less than subtle hint and his hands met at the front of her panties. The satin was warm and more than a little damp and he smiled knowingly. Cal pushed his thumb over her clit, rubbing her through the purple material. The contact sparked heat that spread through her belly and she tangled her fingers in his hair, pressing his mouth to her chest. He smiled against her skin and he slipped his hand in her panties, his middle finger slipping into her folds, finding heat and wetness. Skin on skin made Gillian bite her lips. Cal brought his right hand up and freed it, replacing it with his pinkie. She sucked on his digit, laving the pad with her tongue. She was looking straight in his eyes when he slipped a finger inside. She moaned around his finger and she had to let go on a sharp breath when he slipped another one alongside the first.

"You ok?"

"Hummm-hummmmm."

She could feel he wasn't so sure, but she was, very ok. It had been a little while but she loved it anyway, the feeling of stretching, the intrusion, the intimacy of him inside her while he looked in her eyes, seeing everything she was. She looked back at him and raised an eyebrow in challenge.

"Do you ask them that?"

"No."

The dismissive tone in his voice surprised her. He wasn't inconsiderate of people he cared about, despite popular opinion, so that he wouldn't care about that was somewhat out of character. He brought his thumb up and started to circle her nub very gently, a feather like touch that burned through her flesh and left her gasping.

"Why not?"

"Don't have to. Don't want to."

"Well, aren't I special?"

The sarcasm was lost in the pleasure when he curled the fingers he had inside her and found her g-spot. Coupled with the way the speed his thumb had gained, it made her throw her head back and moan. Cal buried his face in her throat and focused on his attentions on offering her as much pleasure as he could. It didn't take all that much time for her to reach her peak. She let out a long drawn moan as Cal caught her nipple in his mouth and he smiled against her flesh. He continued to work her until the spasm subsided and then he removed his, watching her chest rise and fall fast with the shortness of her breath.

Gillian straightened her head and blinked once, slowly. She looked at him through hooded eyes and she smiled. It was satisfied and it fit her flushed cheeks extremely well. She didn't realize the picture she made, he was certain of it. It was one he hadn't allowed himself to imagine but had dreamt of none the less. She was so beautiful and yet still so pure in her satiation that she eclipsed all the other women he slept with.

It was that loveliness that made him touch her face, tracing her features with questing fingers and worshipful lips to assure himself of the reality of the moment.

"You are."  
"What?"  
"Special."

Part of her felt like it was too cheesy an expression to come from him. I didn't fit, was too cliché to be what he meant and he saw it on her face.

"You're Foster, your better than me, than them."  
"Am I still?"

He placed an open-mouthed kiss just below her jaw and nodded against her skin.

"Even when I offer myself to you?"  
"Especially then."

She could help but smile at that. Sure, she was better though maybe she was slipping because in other life she would have been ashamed of herself. Now, all she did was reach down and undo his belt. His breath hitched as she freed the button, grabbed the tab and pulled it down. Gillian slipped her hand inside his boxer and closed it around him. He was so hot against her skin she didn't know how he could stand it.

"Hummmm... Why didn't you say something?"  
"I had you writhing on my lap practically naked, I'm not that daft"

Her laughter was low, warm and it brightened her eyes. She stood up, not quite steady on the heels she was still wearing. She kicked them off and knelled down in front of him. She put her hands in each of his hips and grasped his pants and boxer.

"Lift."

His hips went up just enough for her to drag the fabric down. Cal kicked toed off his shoes and socks while she lowered his pants. Once he was naked, Gillian sat back in he heels and smiled. She trailed a finger from the root of his penis to the tip; circling again and again the tiny drop of liquid that was starting to pearl there.

"Well, at least I know why they let you go back."

She expected smugness, but all she got was a grimace of concentration. It didn't take her long to understand that she hadn't been the only one to think of this in her spare time and that his fantasies were fuelling his desire right now. She circled the head with her thumb and forefinger and squeezed it just a little.

"Did you ever use them as proxies?"

The question took him by surprise and so did her grasp on his balls. She saw the guilt on his face and smirked.

"Did you ever use them to get back at me?"

She pressed against his perineum, her thumb gently rubbing his sac, while she barely, just barely, pumped him. A drop of sweat fell from his hairline and she realized that she rather liked getting the truth out of Cal. He nodded, breathing hard.

"That's not very nice, is it?"

She didn't even let him answer before she engulfed him in her mouth, slowly, tortuously, until his pubes tickled her nose. His startled gasp made her smile around his length. More to her than he would have ever thought apparently. Gillian pulled up, just grazing him with her teeth. Not to hurt, but to make him fist his hands like he was doing right now. She almost let him fall out of her mouth, but not quite, keeping the head between her lips and sucking hard. She pressed her tongue just under the helmet, against the pulsing vein and Cal groaned, putting his hands on her shoulders. He wasn't trying to lift her off or force her down, he just needed to touch her and she liked that, his need to anchor himself to her.

She looked at him from under her lashes and their eyes met. His were so dilated she there was almost no colour left, she was fairly certain he saw the same thing in hers. She took him fully again, her hands stroking his thighs, racking her nails on the soft skin, before she brought her hands down, cupping his sac. She loved the taste of him. She knew it was displeasing to some women, but to her it was part of the thrill, so was his scent and the noises he was starting to make as she went up and down his shaft, until he buried his hands in her hair and lifted her up. She looked at him questioningly.

"Not like that."

She smiled at him and took his hand to help herself up. She stood in front of him and her smile shined when he hugged her around the middle. He kissed the skin above her navel, pressing his tongue in it before lowering his head and kissing her through her panties. She hissed when she felt him tongue her through the material. It was rougher than she had expected but not entirely unpleasant. He finally lowered her panties and let her kick them somewhere before his mouth was back on her. Gillian held on to his shoulder as he tasted her, thoroughly. She stopped him when her knees became weak and she straddled him again, making sure to bring him inside her body. She lowers herself until he was all the way in.

"You're shaking."

His observation was tinted with both wonder and worry.

"It's been a while and you're somewhat gifted. But then so are you."  
"Not everyday a man gets his fantasy."

The thought pleased her and she smiled before tightening her muscles around him. His groan sounded pained.

"Careful there, Foster."

She did it again, just because she liked it, because it pleased him and because it put strain in his face, the good kind, the kind that said he wanted her just a little too much at that moment. She raised herself and started them on that age-old journey. Gillian was tight and she felt every inch of him on every thrust. It made her moan almost continuously. So did the hands he put on her breasts, the urgency with which he touched the buds a direct contrast to the languid pace she was setting.

She didn't know why she didn't go faster, even though she wanted to, but it was better like this, it was just more. Of him, his shortened breaths, of his scent. She loved this. It was lush in a way she never would have imagined. She had always thought that if they did come together, it would be urgent, frantic, not this slow, hedonistic way. She opened he eyes she hadn't consciously closed to look at him. He was concentrating hard, looking at her, her face, her body, the place where they were joined and he was seeing everything.

"Do you see me, Cal?"  
"Only you, luv. Always"

She smiled in satisfaction and decided it was time. She quickened her pace and she felt him thrust up into her, hitting her just right inside. She moaned and crashed her lips against his, tasting the smallest hint of herself on his tongue. It mingled with his taste and she loved it. She threw her arms around his neck and rode him as hard as she could, delighted when he brought his hand down, touching her where they were joined until she had to break the kiss to gasp as she climaxed, squeezing him until he released into her. Cal thrust in her a few more times, riding his own wave until she felt the tension leave his body.

He gathered her close and their sweaty skin stuck together while their hearts slowed down. She nuzzled his ear and pressed a kiss to the damp skin behind it. She was surprised to feel him shiver and tighten his arms around her in a tender hug. He turned his head and looked her in the eye. She wasn't sure what he was looking for, who could know with him really, but she put it all there for him to see: the love, the anger of the last few days, the pain of the last few months and the hope. There was so much of it in her heart that he couldn't not see it. And he did. He put her hair behind her ear and Cal kissed her lips, chastely, softly, as if he wasn't in her still. The gesture puzzled her and it was her turn to read his face.

She saw fear, first and foremost, but then here was love, a deep well of it, and happiness. The last made her heart melt. It was something she had so rarely witnessed in him that it thrilled her to be the one to give it to him.

"Do you see me, love?"

She heard the change in the word and she closed her eyes to better savour it as she placed her hand on his heart.

"I do. Do you?"  
"I've always known, how come you didn't? They're nothing, you're everything."  
"Your best friend, your luv, your darling and your Leo?"  
"My love as well, you can't be all those thing and not that."

She took his chin in her hand and yanked his face forward.

"Don't you ever forget it."  
"Never did, never will."  
"Good."

She kissed him fiercely, almost savagely and he returned her intensity, rubbing her face raw with his stubble. When they pulled apart, her face was red, her lips were bruised but her eyes sparkled in happiness and determination. She lifted herself off of him, humming when he slipped out of her. She held on to him to steady herself and leaned forward to kiss him.

"Take me home, I want to do this again, with more space."

"Again?"

"Yes. You and me."

The 'no one else' was left unspoken, but he heard it all the same. He nodded and rose from his seat. He watched Gillian gather her clothes and get dressed, his enjoyment of her body obvious in the way his eyes followed her every movement. He dressed when she handed him his clothes and he took her hand to walk out of the office. As he walked out, he frowned.

"I gotta get a new chair, I'll never get any work done in it now."

They way she smirked let him know she had planned this, this permanent reminder of what she was offering ad what he stood to lose if he let himself look her over again.

"I trust you know where to look if you can't deal with the distraction."

"I knew you weren't a good girl."

Her laughter accompanied them out of the office, clear as their understanding.


End file.
